uncensored post ahead... consider yourself warned...

normally, no matter what, i put on a happy face and pretend like all is great in the world. but for me, today, there are no rose colored glasses, the glass is half empty and I am going to cry if/when i want to! my heart is broken, i have gotten rejection after rejection in my quest for a job...and i am going to be 31 this friday. 31? when did that happen? something here needs to change... and it is probably my attitude... but i am done being jobless, done being without someone to love... done being dependent on other people to make ends meet. i feel my faith is being tested and i am failing miserably!! I want to be happy.... PERIOD... i am told it is a choice... and i know where to find it... doing what is asked of me... so why doesn't it come?!... there, i said it... and now.. this is me.. leaving to go make a list of the many many blessing that i have... and to get myself out of this funk... *sigh* thank heaven for tomorrows!!